julia eff – usa
56 pages – quarter size / A6-ish
in julia eff’s own words:
She’s the grace of this world, she’s too pure
For the likes of this world
This world is a whore.
Tear the petals off of you
Make you tell the truth…
Ever since I started doing zines, I’ve been trying to write to the weird times we live in so other people struggling know they’re not alone.
This is a zine about abuse.
TEAR THE PETALS OFF OF YOU is a zine about what you do when it comes out that someone you really love is an abuser/rapist/all around Bad Dude and all the feelings that come with it. It’s a personal account of life in an abusive relationship & its fallout and how hard trying to bounce back and re-find yourself is when the world is a minefield of bullshit. It shows how the actions of one shitty man affect a whole community & how the impact of predatory behavior is never limited to just the victims. It’s about the shitty behavior of dudes in bands and how it feels to be a survivor in an insensitive world.
This is a zine about William Control/Wil Francis, the allegations of serious abuse against him, and what it means to be a fan. It’s about revenge and rage and screamo and wanting the world to be a better place through any means necessary. It’s about how I met a guy, fell in love with him, let him into my home and lived in fear of him for 3 1/2 years and loved him wholeheartedly while he treated me like shit until I escaped, leaving behind even some of my own possessions and then how I sat by in terror while he heaped insane behavior on my former place of employment and told morning radio shows that I’d robbed him blind.
It’s about hitting the ground, it’s about burning every bridge you took to leave, it’s about waking up in a cold sweat and how I don’t know when that’s ever going to stop.
This is for anyone who’s ever had to cope with finding out someone they trust isn’t who they said they are, any fan that’s ever felt conflicted when it turns out their fave has gone beyond problematic, anyone who’s lived with fear, and the sadness that comes with ultimate betrayal.
This is for everyone who’s ever survived, and those of us that feel like we didn’t.
We will make it eventually.
This zine is 56 pages, handwritten, collaged, quarter size (4.25″ x 5.5″), photocopied, and comes with a big-ass trigger warning for graphic/frank discussions of abuse, intimate partner violence, etc. Stay safe out there.