maranda elizabeth – canada
24 pages – quarter size
in maranda’s own words telegram #35 is about: “suicide, borderline personality disorder, and friendship.
content note: suicide, gender stuff, self-injury, overdoses, ambulances, emergency rooms, coma, psych wards, ignorant cis people, doctors & nurses, traumas, transphobia, ableism, violent, violent thoughts, invalidation…!
This zine is a document of three admittances to the emergency room at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, Ontario within a one-month time-frame, as well as another suicide attempt by overdose, resulting in a coma and almost heart attack, and yet another week on yet another psych ward. Notes on conversations with doctors, psychiatrists, nurses, blah blah, and experiences of transphobia, ableism, and invalidation.
Also, negative post-suicide-survival feelings! Psych med withdrawal, the desire but lack of motivation to make crucial changes in my life, the desire to stay the fuck away from hospitals but not knowing where else to go, the desire to focus on individual friendships while trying to get away from radical spaces but also still not knowing where else to go. Failures of mental health care systems, failures of radical communities. Etc.
In 2013, the DSM-5 came out, with a bunch of changes to the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. I’ve included the more recent details of the diagnosis in this zine, and compared it to the previous diagnosis, which I wrote about in Telegram #23 back in September 2011, after being diagnosed while on another inpatient psych ward; also, a tiny brief examination of the “invalidating environment” believed to be a major cause of BPD, and how just about all environments (institutions, social circles, etc) are or can be invalidating so maybe I’m doomed to be sick forever!”